Episode Summary
In my weekly summary of the happenings of this podcast I share my insights and lessons learned. These include:
- I still have underlying challenges that remain unresolved that help trigger a downward spiral in my mood.
- Anxiety about the challenges I face has started to rear its ugly head and have an impact on how I feel.
- I appear to be a text book example of a CBT case study.
- I’m reminded that there is no “Rescue Party” coming to save me from myself .
- I have to take control of my healing.
- When I am really low, I just want to shut out the rest of the world.
- It feels like I have to justify the intensity of my feelings when I am low by hanging onto them for as long as possible.
- My default behaviour when I am faced with emotional challenges is to bury my head in the sand.
- I am struggling to see the point of carrying on when I can’t see a way forward.
Episode Show Notes
00:15 – On Monday I began to feel anxious and overwhelmed about my “mopping up” operation to put things right after struggling for the last couple of years. I also faced a professional challenge I was emotionally ill-equipped for.
01:15 – In Episode 143 on Tuesday I reiterated my concerns that I have still have underlying issues that remain to be addressed. I also felt I was a text book example of a CBT case study.
02:17 – On Wednesday I managed to take a few moments out of victim mode and start considering what I need to do to start taking back control. Unfortunately that evening I encountered a personal challenge I handled really, really badly.
03:33 – The less said about Thursday’s episode, the better. I was so low that the title of the post for that episode lasted longer than what I actually said.
03:43 – One of the post low mood sensations I experience is that of being sheepish and embarrassed about having had such an intensity of feeling.
04:31 – When I reflect on this last week, the main theme has been one of my limited emotional skills in dealing with both professional and personal challenges. I try with the skills I have and have failed miserably.
05:31 – I get so low about being unable to deal with being low (that is caused by beating myself up because of my inability to deal with life’s challenges) that I am starting to ask myself “What’s the point?”
