Episode Summary
Yesterday I hit a low mood. Well today it continued. In this episode I explain how that manifested and then how it panned out for the rest of the evening. Its impact carried over into today and then even got worse. I share my worries about this in the context of the treatment I am going to get from the NHS.
Episode Show Notes To Follow…
00:13 – In yesterday’s episode I talked about the sense of overwhelm and anxiety I was experiencing.
00:44 – My mood was exacerbated by a misunderstanding that I felt uncomfortable dealing with.
01:15 – I am a perfect example of a CBT case study and could track my thoughts, feelings, behaviours and physical sensations throughout the experience of yesterday.
01:32 – My resultant low mood meant I did not want to be around anyone, but unfortunately couldn’t get out of going out. This meant I had to “put on a brave face”.
02:29 – The low mood continued today and I didn’t want to get out of bed.
03:18 – I have not felt this low for some time.
03:47 – These are the sort of behaviours and patterns that remain unresolved. I am concerned that if the NHS discharges me based on how I am (usually) feeling, then these underlying issues will remain.
04:14 – I continue to appear to hang on to the low mood. I have talked about this desire to wallow in dark places in previous episodes.
05:12 – The misunderstanding was not as big an issue as I feared which led me into a barrage of negative self talk and beating myself up.
05:41 – The source of my stigma around my challenges is that in the cold light of day after the emotions have subsided, how I am feeling seems quite pathetic.
