Episode Summary
Today I have had a day of feeling low. It hasn’t been a day of depression, just a day of glumness… though I am not sure I really know the difference. But despite feeling “bad” I didn’t allow it to consume me completely – just partially.
Episode Transcript (Edited)
Hi and welcome to today’s episode of Hope, Help, Happiness.
Now today’s not been a good day.
I’m not sure why.
I felt glum, I felt overwhelmed, I felt negative.
This morning I didn’t do my morning routine. I just lay there when the alarm went off and I let it ring for five minutes before I eventually got up, shut it off and went back into bed.
I stayed there for an hour or so, just ruminating and allowing negative thoughts to swirl around in my mind.
It’s interesting to see myself do that. I know it’s not good for me, but it just seems to be something that consumes me. I struggle to break out of that.
It’s been a difficult day where I have been unable to concentrate and just can’t seem to be bothered.
Well that’s how it feels anyway.
I don’t know whether that’s just a standard routine day of glumness everyone gets, or whether it’s another low on its way in to take over my thinking and my feeling.
But it has been a real struggle.
I’m very tired at the moment. I don’t know why because I am resting, I’m having reasonable sleep, but just seem to be fatigued.
The overwhelm of the magnitude of the task facing me seems quite significant and I still wonder whether I’m just dealing with it at a superficial level at the moment. Perhaps I’m not not really getting deep enough.
But today hasn’t been a complete loss.
I think this is the positive I’ll take from it because I did get up this morning and go for a morning walk.
I didn’t stay in bed all day which I would have done in the past. In fact I’ve taken a couple of walks today.
I have done some work.
I’ve done quite a significant job that I’d been putting off for a couple of days this week.
Tonight I’m going out so I’m going to have to be around people. I’m going to have to pretend to be happy. So that will probably interrupt my current trains of thought.
So in the short term, whilst things are all bad, in the longterm, this progress from how I have been. In the past I would’ve let it consume me. Today I only let it partially consume me.
I have struggled a little bit today, but I suppose I’m going to get those days and I just have to push through them and accept them and see where that takes me.
Until tomorrow.
