Episode Summary
I have been reflecting on why I appear to have stalled in my progress and I think I have the answer. In this short episode, I explore what I need to do next.
Episode Transcript (Edited)
Hi and welcome to today’s episode of Hope, Help, Happiness.
Today I’m asking the question, is it time to go deeper?
I’m asking that question because if you’ve listened to the episodes of the last week or so, you will have sensed a frustration that I seem to have plateaued. I seem to have come to a pause in progress and I’ve been frustrated by that.
I’ve been reflecting on why that might be the case. I think it’s because I’ve been doing all the surface level stuff – the stuff that’s quite obvious to deal with.
So first of all, it, it was getting out of bed. Then it was starting to do a little bit of exercise. Then it was looking after myself and getting back into doing things for my work.
And slowly but surely, I started picking things up. I chose the obvious things going wrong. You could see my emotional state wasn’t good. You could see that I wasn’t looking after myself.
Now I fixed those and I’ve started making progress to an even higher level by doing the Wim Hof breathing and cold showers, together with exercise and meditation. All that is moving me forward.
But it’s all surface level stuff. It’s the obvious stuff. It’s dealing with things that are symptomatic of what is deeper.
I think it’s probably time I started examining those fleeting thoughts. The ones that flash past my conscious. The ones that leave a faint trace of emotion that depending on what stage I’m in, I either ignore or if I’m in a more vulnerable state, then they might send me back into a feeling of despair again.
So I think that it’s now time to do work in that area.
I got to become a thought catcher and capture those thoughts that are symptomatic of the underlying beliefs that I have and the unhelpful habits I’ve got. The ones that create in me those feelings of despair and darkness that overwhelm me when I allow them to take over.
I’s time to, to deal with those.
I think at the moment they are quite deep and hidden because I’m in a relatively good place.
Things are happening and I feel good physically and mentally and to certain level emotionally too.
But I know it’s a place I can’t stay because it’s temporary. The underlying problems are still there.
I know they’re still there because I haven’t addressed them.
The NHS said they’ll help me but that doesn’t happen for another five or six months.
So it’s probably time for me to start digging deep for myself. I’ve got to start doing some research on what I can do. I think it’s probably going to be CBT – cognitive based therapy. That’s about identifying the thoughts, capturing them, pulling them out, seeing whether they are valid or not and dismissing the ones that aren’t.
I think that’s the next part of my journey.
It’s a more subtle part and is probably going to be more frustrating because it isn’t obvious what needs to be dealt with. I think that’s going to have to be the way forward now and it’s going to take probably more time.
The rewards and the impact of any work I do on myself isn’t going to be obvious. So I’ll be denied that instant gratification of “success” I can get with doing some physical exercise.
I think that’s probably the frustrating part.
It might be that I just need to show a little bit more self love and a little bit more self acceptance. Maybe that’s what part of my journey is.
I think it’s going to be a more subtle approach.
I’m probably going to have to start shifting the way I perceive myself and the way that I perceive life and how I react to the things that happen around me.
I think this is probably the part I’ve been avoiding. I’ve mentioned this before in a few previous episodes and I think it was because I was frightened of it and I think I still am frightened of it.
I’m probably as frightened of trying something and it not being the right thing and it not working than I am of addressing and facing up to some of the fears I have.
Having got this far, there’s almost a tendency to want to rest on my laurels and think, okay, I sorted that out, what’s next?
However I know I’m still vulnerable to going back there and I’ve got to deal with that.
I think this is a milestone episode for me as short as it is. That’s Because I think I’ve got to face up to things in a slightly different way if I’m going to move forward.
Until tomorrow.
